Unemployment

Unemployment rate still hovers around 10% in the United States.  In Nevada, where I live, it is 14% - the highest in the nation.

I was unemployed for four months in 2009.  With two masters degrees (in engineering and business) and over 20-years of experience, nearly 10 in the company, and successfully running a 100M segment of the business I was laid off.  My rant ends here with un effing believable!  This only because I am again gainfully employed and in a job much better suited to my talents.  Also in an industry (Gold Mining) that is thriving.

This unemployment rate is but one indicator of our economic health.  But it's a big one and things are not likely to get better very quickly.  Why?  Because jobs have been outsourced overseas and American labor is expensive.  Are we too expensive for what we offer?  Not sure on that one because I keep hearing alarming statistics of increasing high school dropout rates.  Still, as the dollar is devalued it is possible that American goods will once again become attractive, pricewise.  We'll see. 

Snowshoes

I used to do a lot of x-country skiing.  Great way to see the winter outdoors.  But then I got dogs.  Dogs that I didn't want to let loose around the countryside and thus were on leash.  Hard to ski with a dog on leash.  So, I got snowshoes.  Here are some tips for beginning snowshoe walkers.

1)  rent before you buy.  Talk to snowshoeing friends before you buy.  Snowshoes come in different sizes and styles that are appropriate for different weights of people and steepness of terrain.  Bindings can vary as well and you want to get something that you are comfortable with.  If you are a traditionalist you may want some wooden ones.  The newer snowshoe models have steel crampons on the bottom that grip the hardest crust.

2)  If you a regular hiker and in good shape, then you won't need to have snowshoe lessons.  You basically strap the things to your boots and start walking.  That's it.  Hopefully the snow is dense enough so you don't have to plow through too deeply on your first go at it.  I recommend using at least one ski pole or even two to help keep you stable.  But you can snowshoe without any poles at all.

Eclipse - Dec 20/21, 2010

 The picture above shows what the sky will look like at the START of the eclipse - about 10:30 pm pacific standard time on Dec 20, 2010.  The full moon will be shining brightly above the constellation Orion - who faces Taurus the bull.  You should be able to see the Pleiades as well.

Key points of the eclipse are (these are universal times, subtract 8 hours to convert to pacific standard time):

Penumbral Eclipse Begins:   05:29:17 UT
Partial Eclipse Begins:     06:32:37 UT
Total Eclipse Begins:       07:40:47 UT
Greatest Eclipse:           08:16:57 UT (this is 12:16am, PST)
Total Eclipse Ends:         08:53:08 UT
Partial Eclipse Ends:       10:01:20 UT
Penumbral Eclipse Ends:     11:04:31 UT

But the real action won't occur until around 11:30 pm when the moon will enter the earths umbral shadow - and slowly turn a deep gauzy red.  It's an amazing sight.  Once the moon is fully eclipsed, the full glory of the night-time sky will be revealed with stars and stars and stars!

I made this video to give you an idea of what the eclipse could look like - and it only takes less than a minute to watch the entire sequence.  The music is La Volta, from Elizabethan times.  The Queen was said to enjoy dancing to the Volta.

My video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQi5WzaK6V0
 And if you need a lot more information, here is a link to NASA's official website on the eclipse:
http://eclipse.gsfc.nasa.gov/OH/OH2010.html#LE2010Dec21T

 Hope for clear weather wherever you are!

Cold Weather

It's been cold here recently.  Of course, that's a relative perspective.  But for me it has been cold.  Part of that is I have lived for many years in a warm desert climate - where the very coldest of temperatures were around 25F at night.  Now, in Northern Nevada, it can easily be 0 or below zero at night and stay in the teens all day.  On the very coldest days, the high can be 5!  But even this time of year there are days when the low is 25 and the high is 35 or 40.  Won't get much warmer than that until March.

There are degrees of cold.  It seems to feel worse when the temps are just above freezing.  Or when it is raining and cold.  The wind blowing makes it feel colder to your exposed skin. 

So bundle up.  I have what I term my "Idaho Jacket" which is extremely heavy but amazingly warm to even well below zero.  It is a double jacket with a collar that when zipped up extends above my chin.  It is long, and extends below my bottom.  If the temps are above freezing it is too hot and I either don't wear it or keep it unzipped.  On really cold days I wear a sweater underneath it and pull the hood over my hat.  And of course I wear gloves or mittens.

I like hot chocolate as well.

Cast iron cookware

Cast iron makes perhaps the very best material for cookware.  What is simply amazing about this is it has been around for hundreds of years and it is non-stick, providing you know how to take care of it.  They also have an incredibly even heating surface.  All that thermal mass of the iron holds and distributes heat very well.  Cook on a gas range for the best effects.

Cast iron pots should be seasoned carefully and never washed with soap.  Seasoning involves developing a layer of oil that is bonded to the cooking surfaces of the pot or frying pan.  Cooking with oils does this naturally.  Wash your pots with hot water only and scrub them with a stiff brush.  Then dry them and lightly oil them and hang them up.  Occasionally you may need to re-season them by putting some oil on them and heating them up while letting the oil flow over cooking surfaces.  Then, let the pot cool to room temperature and wipe off any excess oil with a paper towel.

Some people have a different cast iron pot or pan for different types of food.  One may be very garlic/onions.  Another just for lamb, etc.  If you do this then the pot itself will help to flavor future meals.

Recipe: - Pan Baked Tenderloin

1-pork tenderloin (or similar meat)
3 chopped garlic cloves
2 finely chopped jalapeno peppers
about half a cup of chopped onions
4 tomatoes
10-12 brussles sprouts
Mix the garlic, peppers, and onions together.  Slice open the meat in 4-5 spots and fill the open slices with the mix.
Put oil in the frying pan and heat.  Put the meat in the pan.
Surround the meat with the tomatoes and brussles sprouts.
Put the top on the frying pan
Heat for about 5 minutes on high to get everything good and hot.
Then turn the heat to low and let everything simmer for about a half hour.
THen enjoy!

Experiment

If you get this, please feel free to come back.  I write about a lot of interesting things.  You'll find pretty pictures and learn about fun stuff  I have no idea who Nikki Sixx is.  Or Scarlett Johansson Or Kat Von D either!

 

But I lived in Las Vegas when Crazy (and gulty, my opinion) O.J. Simpson broke into the motel room and tried to steal back his momentos.  They threw the book at him.  Good.

 

I do know something about Running Shoes.  I like the ones by New Balance.  Adidas are a close second.  Also, Killer Bees are just africanized Honey bees.  You'll find them in Texas, Arizona, Nevada, New Mexico, and parts of southern California.  Don't mess with them.  I am probably abut to get a new smart phone.  Also, watch your credit score.  Get a copy of your report annually.  A good credit  score means lower interest rates.  Finally, apply to as many colleges as you can.  You never know who will accept you and who wont.

 

This ends the experiment.

Photography

Of course there are many things required of a good photographer.  Here are a few to start with:

1)  Get the best equipment you can afford and know how to us it.  Some things are essential to improve your chances of taking that perfect photograph.  The two most important are: manual focus and manual exposure control.  Too often you are faced with high contrast scenes that simply cannot be addressed by the auto settings on most cameras.  A zoom lens also helps a lot but be careful that it is a good one.  Poor ones can have bad lens flare and also have fuzzy focus around the edges of your picture.
2)  Travel to pretty places and or photograph interesting subjects and take lots of pictures.  Find your niche.  Some photographers are good with people.  Others good with scenery.  One of my niches is to take pictures that are 3-D in appearance even though the medium is 2-D.  But USE your camera, TAKE pictures, and LEARN from what you experience. 
3)  If you want to make money from photography accept that it might be taking pictures of things that are not interesting to you - like food (for advertisements) or house interiors (for real estate agents).  Not everyone can be an adventure photographer.  So keep an open mind.

Emergency Preparedness

All over the internet there are websites that have good advice on what to have ready to go in case of an emergency.  This could be any type of emergency that drives you from your home.  If you had to leave your house in half a minute, what would you take?  MUCH better to have those items already packed in a "grab bag" that you literally can pick up as you leave.

MOST likely you may be hit with a weather scenario.  Hurricane, tornado.  A fire is also a distinct possibility.  Widespread sickness (flu, for example) could happen but is less likely.  In the US, anyway, a foreign invasion or widespread panic is unlikely - but anything is possible.  Times are tough.

Here are some things to consider also having ready that I haven't typically seen listed on the standard web sites.

A plan.  Where will you go?  Who will you contact and do you have a means to contact them?  Who may try to contact you?  Plans can change depending on the actual circumstances.  But you should have one anyway and even drill with it.

Gas in the car: Don't let your gas tank ever fall below half - keep it as full as you can.

Food/Water:  Some people keep 50 gallons of drinking water and a year's worth of food at their homes.


Warmth may be required - jackets, gloves, hats.  Be sure you have a sleeping bag in the car.

Food:  3-days are recommended and about all that will fit in an easily grabbed bag.  But have more available just in case, like 2-weeks worth.  You can sprout your own vegetables from some seeds but this requires water (which you may not have). 

Medical supplies.  Include medications you may need.  You should always have basic first aid supplies available.  Include tweezers and a small sharp knife.  Have a spare pair of glasses handy.

Tools:  A shovel should always be in your car.  Hammer, nails, and a crescent wrench.  50' of stout nylon rope (3/8" thick) and 50' of 1/8" rope can be useful.  Have a sharp knife available to cut it.

Matches, waterproof.

Fishing supplies, line, hooks, and bait

A gun.  Yes, you should have a gun available with ammunition.  A shotgun is probably the best all-around choice as it can kill flying prey.  With buckshot, it is an effective defensive weapon.

Camera, notebook, and pencils - you never know what you may need to record.

Flashlight.  Have spare Lithium batteries available.  Don't put them in the light as they could discharge.  If you have rechargeable batteries have a means to charge them such as a portable solar panel.

Again, be sure to have the standard stuff packed but also consider some of this extra stuff - it could save your life some day.

swords

Even against a gun, a sword can be advantageous in certain circumstances.

I am both a fencer and a historical sword fighter (rapier).  Modern fencing is pretty much a very different thing than rapier play.  The epee is shorter, lighter, and much faster.  More people probably fence with an epee though, giving you a variety of opponents.  It's hard to find someone who knows how to use a rapier.

Swords have been with us throughout our history.  The rapier kills through penetration.  You literally run your opponent through.  The opponent will, of course, use his (sometimes her) sword to deflect your attacks with a parry, and then a riposte.  Cutting blows are typically not killing blows.  Back in the day I am sure there were a lot of delayed deaths due to infections.

You have to personally be involved in the fight to kill someone with a sword.  It must be harder to do.  The opponent won't die very quickly either (as with a bullet from a distance).  You are also personally at risk of getting hit even by a dying opponent.  I took balls to face someone with a sword. A small mistake could easily lead to death.

Here are some observations for you to remember if you are ever in a sword fight.

Watch your opponent.  Do they move lightly and surely? Are they aware of distance?  Are they experienced?  Do they react to your feints?  Do they riposte?  They are teaching you how to defeat them.  Watch for their clues.


Distance is your friend.  By stepping back or shifting your position to the side, the opponents attack is thwarted.  Keep a safe distance until you are ready to try your attack.  And don't try your attack unless you are sure that you can achieve your target and also avoid being hit yourself.

Decide how you will attack.  It can only be one of three ways:
1) defensive:  Let your opponent attack you - give them an opening - then parry and riposte.  Or, counter attack into their attack (but don't get hit yourself!)
2) offensive:  You attack first, either with a beat, a feint, or a direct attack.
3) second intention.  You attack falsely, inviting a parry and riposte from your opponent.  But you are slightly out of distance giving you time to parry and riposte - and hopefully hit your target.

Above all, if you think you will be fighting regularly, you MUST stay in shape.  That means regular practices and physical training.  You have to be ready to fight at any time, often with little warning.

Fixing things

In the world we live in, we rely on "things".  Things break.  When they do we have to make some choices.  I think there are 5 choices:  Forget about the thing.  Replace the thing with another thing.  Fix the thing yourself.  Live with the broken thing.  Pay someone else to fix the thing.  

Three nights ago my hot water heater went out.  That is to say, it would shut off before the water was entirely heated.  I would go check it and the pilot light would be out.  Lighting the pilot was difficult.  In fact, I couldn't keep it lit except once every 10 trys or so.  And when I did get the burner fired up it would just shut off after a few minutes and not relight.

It wasn't the worst time of the year for this to happen.  But the temps here are at freezing during the night so something needed to be done.  I decided to take the "fix the thing yourself" option.  Most of the other choices were not an option.  I could hire someone to fix it but there was that added expense.  This was plumbing related so the parts would cost double and the labor would not be cheap.  Fortunately, I am somewhat mechanically and electrically inclined.  I did have the tools (mostly) and I was motivated to get the job done.

The reason for the failure could have been one of three things:  1)  Soot in the burn pipes (0$).  2)  Bad thermocouple (temperature sensor) - ($10) or 3)  Bad gas regulator/shut-off ($100).  Naturally, I choose to clean the pipes first.  That solution was free and required minimal dis-assembly.  I used a pipe cleaner and swabbed out the accessible pipes.  There didn't seem to be any obstructions.  And that solution didn't work. 

Next I bought and installed a nice shiny new thermocouple.  Also to no effect.  So I then investigated the regulator.  This was a $100 part, according to the dealer.  I checked on the internet and verified this was indeed the price.  Further checking revealed other posts of people running into the same type of problem. Unfortunately, this particular regulator is no longer made by the manufacturer (a White Rodgers 37C14U-5).  But there was an equivalent unit available - and I picked one up.

This is what the heater unit looked like before the replacement - The offending thing is the square looking box with the round blue knob. Gas comes in from the left and out the bottom through a propane orifice.  It is mixed with air and runs through the silver tube to a flame at the burner head on the lower right.

To replace the regulator, I had to remove the burner assembly, the inlet gas line (turn off the GAS!), the pilot gas line, and the thermocouple line.  That was the easy part.  Then the water tank had to be drained. and the regulator unscrewed from the tank.  That actually proved to be the hardest part as the clearance available was not the best.  I ended up using a small pipe wrench with a extension on the handle to get enough leverage.  But it did eventually come off.  Amazingly I didn't injure my hands - but I was careful to avoid doing anything that might cause that to happen.

Hooking up the lines to the new unit proved slightly challenging.  The new regulator was larger and of a different form factor than the old one.  The inlet gas line had to be re-bent in order to fit and it was still a very awkward connection.  Here is what it looks like with the new parts:

The whole operation took about 1.5 hours.  But it fired up immediately.  I was very pleased.  It is definitely fixed.

10/10/10

It used to be that these types of dates happened every 11 years.  6/6/66, 7/7/77, etc.  Then all of a sudden the millennium hit and every year a cool day happened.  1/1/1, 2/2/2, etc.  Next year we will have an 11/11/11 and the year after that will be 12/12/12.  But after that, what happens?  It all stops.  Well, at least until the year 2100.  During that year we will have our first 1/1/1 in over 90 years!

Anyway, if you like numbers.  Or even if you don't.  Try to find some reason to write the date down today.  Numerically it is unusual.

Astronomy - without telescopes

I love astronomy.  I'll get a telescope some day but for now I just like to look at the moon, stars, and planets.  I've got some software (free download) called Stellarium that can be used to find out where things are located and when events are scheduled to happen.  Events such as eclipses, for example.

A year ago in April I saw the occultation of Venus by the moon.  That was awesome.  This morning, the thin crescent moon rising above the storm clouds on the horizon, most of its disk lit by earthlight was particularly beautiful.  But I didn't have my camera with me.

How do you take pictures of the moon?  It's  actually pretty easy.  You need a camera of course.  A tripod is useful but not required unless you are taking pictures of the crescent.  And you should have at least 20x zoom power on your camera.  Since the moon is lit by the sun, it is in daylight.  So set your exposure and f-stop accordingly.  1/125th of a sec to 1/500th of a second is usually fine.  The faster speeds are better at the higher zooms to compensate for camera shake if you are not on a tripod.  If you DO use a tripod it is extremely useful to have a remote shutter release - this eliminates shake from you pushing the shutter on the camera body.  If you don't have one, a trick you can do is use the timed release feature most cameras have.

You have to choose whether you want a pic of the moon or a pic of the surrounding stars/clouds/sky with a really bright moon in them.  But of course with photoshop skills you can copy and paste your moon shot into any sky shot you want  :)

Now, for starry night pictures you must have a tripod.  I'll discuss star tracking motors in a later post.  You also need a camera that has a "bulb" setting where you can open the shutter and leave it open as long as you want.  Keeping it wide open for 10 seconds is usually enough to pick up some stars.  If you leave it open longer than 20 seconds you will begin to see star movement on your picture.  Many people WANT to see the star movement and leave the shutter open for many minutes or hours even.  Makes for some spectacular photographs.  If there is any kind of moon in the sky it will wash out your background - you can compensate for this with shorter exposure times.

I typically keep the ASA speed to 400 or less.  I find that higher ASA speeds tend to generate a lot of noise in the picture.

Here is one of my favorite nighttime pictures.  It is of the Milky Way.  If you know where to look you can see the Andromeda galaxy - it is the farthest distant object still visible with the naked eye - I think it is 2M light years away!

Skating

It's not for everyone.  I'll start with that.  You might need lessons if you have never done it before.  Concentrate on stopping.  That's really the key.  But if you know what you are doing then skating gives you as much exercise as running and it is a whole lot more fun!  Just be sure to NEVER fall.  And in the event you do fall be sure you are wearing a helmet, elbow pads, wrist protectors, and knee pads.

I skate outdoors, on streets and sidewalks.  Typically skating for an hour or two every other day.  It's great for balance and stamina.  I guess the toughest part is concentrating on the road ahead.  Even the slightest rock could trip you up.  You have to be vigilant.  Get yourself good skates.  I recommend Rollerblades - particularly the kind with advanced braking technology such as ABT.  It works and it is easy to use.  You still can not stop on a dime though.

But if you are willing, healthy, and safe, then give it a try.  There is nothing quite like the thrill of skating and the feel of the wind through your hair.

Dogs - probably part 1 of many

Right now I live with two dogs.  Both are rescued dogs.  Here is a bit of each of their stories:

Duncan was a puppymill puppy.  Puppy mills breed dogs for profit.  Those cute little puppies in the pet store?  Puppymill.  Except you don't see the worst part of it.  You don't see the breeding females constantly pregnant or nursing.  You don't see the stacks of kennels with dogs defecating on themselves and each other.  You don't see the starvation and greed.  But Duncan did.  Duncan is an Akita.  He is not particularly bright.  He doesn't like change.  But he likes - even loves - me.

Chloe was simply found in the wilderness.  She had an owner at one point.  She ended up in a shelter on a death sentence - they have to do that at shelters because they have so many dogs.  But she ended up with me.  She is highly intelligent and emotionally expressive.  Plus, she and Duncan get along.  Duncan loves her.  She keeps him in balance.

For now, the three of us are living together in small quarters.  But we are managing and there is a plan to get into a house soon.  Dogs are wonderful creatures.  They love you unconditionally.  Some of them feel sorry for you because of your limited senses.  But if you have a dog, you really need to take care of it.  That means lots of exercise, good food, vet care, whatever it takes.  They are highly intelligent creatures but they are dependent on you to survive in a human world.

Transportation

How many of you, as adults, ride your bike?

I've been riding all my life, on and off.  It's a lot of fun and you can do it for a lot more than just once a week for exercise.

Burley makes great trailers for bicycles.  I am talking cargo carriers.  With them you can go grocery shopping with your bike.  You can carry all sorts of things with you if you have a trailer. You can go CAMPING too!  But even without a trailer you can get baskets or just carry things in a backpack.

This picture is of my mountain bike and bike trailer.  My dog and I went on a camping trip.

I say, think about it.  Ride your bike more often than you do.  Use it for simple errands if you can.  Use it to commute to work.  While 5-miles may be ideal, anything up to about 10-miles is bikeable from a commuting perspective.  You will appreciate the exercise.  You will actually save time because you won't need to go to the gym any more!

This picture is of my antique racing bike.  I've kept it in pretty good shape.  I just bought new wheels for it.  Everything else is original.  Oh, I put on a new seat and bike lights - safety first!

Preparing for an Interview

Good preparation leads to a good interview. If you have not interviewed in awhile, it is useful to just practice interviewing. This can be through actual job interviews before tackling the critical interview or you can ask your friends to interview you.

That said, find out as much as you can about the job, the company, and even the person interviewing you (if you know this). Summarize your knowledge in key points that you can throw into your answers.

If you really want the job, try to communicate how much you want to work for that particular company - not just get any job. Be enthusiastic but not gushing. If you are the right fit for the position both you and the interviewer will know this. First impressions are important. Dress appropriately for the interview. Have a 2-min summary of your background and how it fits the job requirements (elevator speech).

Remember, in most cases the interviewer is not trying to personally trip you up. They are simply trying to identify the best candidate for the job. Some jobs are stressful. If you can't handle yourself in the interview then you probably can't do the job anyway.

Review the top 10 questions typically asked at a job interview (Google will help). Be certain you can answer the "what was your biggest mistake or what are your weaknesses" type of question. Answer in a way that demonstrates you learned something from the experience. Try to find and example of something that isn't that godawful a thing to have done, if possible. Everyone has something. The purpose of this question is not so much what you did but how you answer the question.

Have one or two intelligent prepared questions to ask about the job or the company - but these questions should be phrased to demonstrate your knowledge and interest with the company, not to point out some glaring inadequacy.

After the interview, immediately after, do a self-assessment. What were the tough questions? Can you clarify your response in your thank you note? And absolutely send a thank you note. I feel these days that an email is appropriate. However if the interviewer has done something extraordinary, then a hand-written note sent by mail might also be needed.

House Buying

I have bought a house or two during my life.  For those of you who have this opportunity, I would say do it if you can.  Owning a home is an amazing thing.  To begin with, it is quieter and your space is your own - pretty much.  I mean, usually you will be living in a city or an association so there are some rules.  But the advantages far outweigh those rules.

With a house you have a place to retreat from the world.  You can garden in your yard, relax in your patio, work on home improvement projects, and grow your family.  Do you want a dog?  get one (if you can care for it).  Dogs are amazing too!  I'll have to talk about my dogs some time.

In the long run, your house should cost you less than renting.  This is because houses generally increase in value (the past few years not withstanding).  Whereas your rent just goes to your landlord.

Of course, you will have to make house payments.  At first these may seem high.  But after a few years you will find that your house payments are actually less than the rent because they stay relatively constant.  Rent always goes up.  So just make sure that you have enough income to make those payments.  I think most experts recommend that your house payment be about 1/3 of your monthly income.  Also, try to make as large a down payment as you can.   20% at least.  This lowers your principle and also your payments - and you wont have to pay mortgage insurance.

There is a lot of paperwork to sign.  But don't be intimidated.  Just read it carefully.  Talk to friends who have been through the experience and can share the things to look out for.

But definitely, get yourself a house.

Recording

Do you know what you were doing, say, 10-years ago on this date?  I do.  I know everything I've done since the age of 12 - pretty much precisely.  I know because I've kept a diary.  My thoughts, hopes, fears, experiences, everything about me.  I laugh sometimes when, in the movies or TV someone brings out a dusty old book and says, "this was my grandfathers diary".  Obviously scripted by someone who has no clue that the diary of a life would requires volumes of books.

Regularly, I'll review my entries and there have been many times when I have said to myself, "that really was a good idea – why not go work on that tomorrow?" Or, "darn, I forgot to do XXX – better take care of that right now." Or, "YYY said BBB about me. What am I going to do about that?" It's useful to also review what's been happening over the past few weeks as well as periodically see what was going on a year ago or even 5-years ago. It kind of keeps you on track and centered, both short term and long term.

When I first started I used half-sized hard cover booklets with lined pages.  These were available in stationary stores for a few dollars each.  They lasted from two to 6 months depending on the intensity of my writing.  I've got boxes of these, carefully cataloged and stored in the garage. 

A few years back I went 100% digital.  I now record my thoughts in MP3 files.  If I write something I'll scan or photograph it so there is a permanent record.  The good pictures I take are similarly stored.  I'll even scan interesting news articles if I feel they have relevance to my thinking at the time.  Everything is stored on flash memory,  backed up by DVD (good for 50 years, I am told).

The recorders are inexpensive and simple to operate.  It's interesting to listen to your own words as well as the emotion you put into these words.  

Consider encrypting your entries - there is a lot of personal information in there that you probably wouldn't want anyone else knowing about if you should lose it.

Be diligent about making your entries or recordings.  Do it several times a week at least.
 

So, as you live your life, make sure you keep a record of it.  Written or digital - it's a valuable history.  It's YOUR history!

What's it all about?

This blog is about balancing your life.  Most of us have to work.  But do we have to work ALL the time?  And when we are not working, what do we do?  That's what this blog is about.  The outdoors, healthy activities, fun with friends and family - here's how to do it right, or at least, how I do it!